Imbalance

"…And you will say that you're making headway and put it in overdrive but you're mistaking speed for getting what you need and never even noticing you never do arrive…."

–Aimee Mann, Driving Sideways, Magnolia Soundtrack

I've been thinking about how to describe the work I do.

It was a struggle because to me it's as natural to talk about what I do as if describing to you how to get from my den to the bathroom (walk through the kitchen take a left and it's the 2^nd door on the right).  

I live in the south and I was surprised that some people didn't know what Reiki was.

Well bless my naïve little heart.

So I had to take a step back and look at what I do.

It comes down to imbalance.

Let's talk about driving.

Think about the last time you drove your car at night.

At highway speed it's harder to see potholes, harder to spot highway police parked in speed traps and, without looking at a clock, it's harder to gauge how long you've been driving because there's no sun to follow.

Deer really dig the night life.

Think about a night where you were driving on the interstate and traffic had come to a halt and you found yourself behind a tractor trailer with its brakes engaged.

Red brake lights lit up like Christmas.

The lights were so bright it was probably hard to see anything else.

Pfft. Forget about being able to see around the tractor trailer.

Your eyes stung from the glare and you had to turn your head away or flipped down the sun visor.

Cars came up behind you and their lights reflected in your rearview mirror.

Into your eyes.

Fun times.

Up until this point you were probably eager to get to where you wanted to go, but now…

Now you're only thinking about how long you're going to be sitting still.

Worried about how late you'll be arriving to your destination.

Worried if you're going to run out of gas.

Worried if you do run out of gas how much will it cost to have your car towed or to hitch a ride to get gas.

Blaming yourself (or someone else) for not leaving on your journey sooner.

So you sit there.

In the car.

Possibly getting irritated.

Probably getting mad.

Probably thinking about the missed opportunity to go the bathroom at the gas station.

Thinking about the guy in front of you at the gas station who took too long to count out his change to buy cigarettes.

Yeah. This is all that guy's fault.

You've been so focused on being angry that you're not focused on solutions. You're not thinking about how this could not be that bad (all things considered).

I'm not going to get into the physiological effects of what being angry for prolonged periods of time does to your body (I'll save those gems for another blog post).

Think of the tractor trailer as an issue you have that you knew you've been aware of for a while, but have been avoiding or thought was "no big deal."

Now you have no other choice but to face the business-end of what's keeping you from your goal.

With people I talk to it's never just 1 big issue. It's usually 2 to 3 in-your-face issues and at least as many "hidden" ones.

That's where the imbalance is the most obviously not obvious. 

Let's use the example of advertising your business.

That's communication. It's speaking your truth about who you are and your business and what you do.

Are you reluctant about sharing what you do? Why? How confident do you feel about your business? How much value would you give yourself in your business? How's your creative desire looking these days?

Are you worried about paying for advertising? Are you always worried about money? Have you always worried about money? Do you trust yourself to make choices you feel good about, that serve you and move your business forward?

Worried you're making the right choices in getting the word out about your business?

Do you have a support system in place to bounce ideas off of and get non-intrusive, constructive criticism?

You're so distracted with worry you don't think to take a step back (turn off the ignition) and figure out other solutions.

If you hadn't done so already, I would suggest turning off the ignition to save gas.

Yeah, that is the obvious thing to do, but sometimes when you're in the middle of being mad, making obvious choices are akin to working a miracle so I'm not going to get judgey if you didn't think to turn off the ignition.

I use "judgey" a lot.

As a coach I'm going to point some things out to you to help you get your thought process going in a positive direction.

I'm going to give you the accountability you need, action-oriented exercises to develop your consistency muscle and southern sass when I sense you're playing small.

The world doesn't need any more playing small and you know it.

Beating your chest with regret is not going to serve you, so work with me to unlearn doing it.

Together, we're going to find ways to help you serve your business best. 

Ways that feel good to you. 

Ways you trust. 

Ways that nurture the part of you that knows the WHY of what you do.

So while you're behind the tractor trailer, you may want to get out of the car and see how far ahead the traffic is. 

While you’re waiting, if the sky is clear, finding familiar constellations (you're just sitting there. Why not?).

Turn cartwheels in the middle of the road.

Start conversations with people in other automobiles.

Finish and send an email to a prospective client.

Jot down ideas for future projects and people you'd love to work with.

Create a spreadsheet to keep track of how many and where you send out pitches for speaking gigs or to guest blog.

Write a list of all the things you're grateful for.

Did you look at your goals today? If not, now would be a perfect time to re-read them.

Do you have written goals? If not, now would be a perfect time to write them.

This is the work I do. 

I help you get out of your own way.

If you'd like to be a part of a community of other small business owners and entrepreneurs where you can connect, brainstorm with and share your road trip stories, please join us here.

Thanks for reading this.

Begin. Again.

This won't take long.

I've heard many of my coaching teachers/mentors say,

"When you talk to everyone you talk to no one."

I heard it, but I didn't HEAR it.

I thought it was clever and one part of my head knew it to be true, but some other part of my head didn't think the rule applied to me.

It was the equivalent of,

"I can make this 3 inch wide star-shaped peg fit into this 2 inch wide octagonal-shaped hole.

Yeah. I can do that."

No, special snowflake.

You can't.

It was then I realized that fear called the shots on who I chose to serve and gave it the appearance of absolute progress with an extra measure of acceptance.

Pfft. No.

Between the YouTube posts, a retreat and a host of other recent experiences, I have discovered a lot about what is possible while sliding into who I am and who I serve.

I am a healer in a world with other healers.

I serve heart-centered small business owners and entrepreneurs.

I serve those who serve others.

I serve those who serve others, but feel off balance.

I serve those who serve others, but tend to put others' cares before their own.

I serve those who serve others, but, who struggle with trusting themselves, do not feel confident or have a difficult time speaking their truth about their business. 

How much is your uncertainty, exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed costing you?

How much is it affecting the relationship with yourself?

How about the people closest to you?

Is it worth it?

So my focus is now, truly, heart-centered work. My core tribe is the healers of the world coming from a place of love, who feel they need to make changes in order to show up powerfully in their work.

Over the next few weeks I'll talk about this more. Since I've come to the revelation of who I specifically serve (4 days ago) it feels like I am learning a new language that is very familiar but different. 

Thank you for reading this.